It’s like a still silent hush came over my office yesterday.
My suite mates coincidentally gone this week; the incessant clang of construction going on outside mysteriously muted.
Moving in a year’s time became 6 month’s time became 3 month’s became 3 weeks became my last day, yesterday, after a decade in my practice.
So many goodbyes, so many years tied up in that office; I sat at days end at the heavy wood desk that’s now gone on to donation, and said goodbye in solitude. Thanked the space for holding me and so many stories for over 10 years.
Letting go can be a painful truth. Undoing in its dissolution; freeing in its resolution. I’ve walked around these last 4 weeks in Anchorage, and all I can feel is the sands shifting inside of me, sweeping back and forth as they shake their old patterns loose and begin to rearrange into a bigger sense of self.
If you would have told me a few years back that I would close my practice, I wouldn’t have believed you; I had too much tied up into it and was fearful of losing my stability and financial security blanket.
And now I can tell you that it wasn’t my circumstances that shifted, which allowed me to let go- truth be told I have no idea what I’m going to do for money- it was simply my perspective that changed based based on a deepening desire to put faith into action and live the words of truth I have been writing for so many years:
The universe will support you and make a way when you follow your soul’s path.
I feel called to go to Kauai, and so I’m going, trusting it will somehow all work itself out. Which is how I found myself sitting in that hushed office last night reflecting on everything that has transpired all my years in private practice.
It is our full that makes us whole, and so I let myself be in my own fullness of emotion and let the relief and release and grief and freaked out and deep breaths of authenticity wash in and out like the not so distant ocean I am swiftly heading towards. Completely alone in my emptied space, reflecting on all that has passed.
Feeling my ocean sing within; I turn the lights out. Satisfied.
Through living my truth I find myself complete.